1)Marriage? Challenging, but valueable.
3)Job? Bags of drizzling shit on a hot day, with flies
4)Apartment? Great, but ready for change/scared of change
5)Health? Totally retarded...anemia, I think?
6)Art? Dying of neglect.
7)Nature? Making good effort.
9)Friends? Great, but always prepared for greater. Wackier.
10)Future? Feels bleak.
11)Finances? An embarrassment to my upper middle class upbringing.
12)Happiness? Hovering at 75%
13)The Ex? Still grateful! Still gone!
I've been having talks with the Universe about "some things", and shockingly, the Universe talks back. I throw out the questions, and then something will happen that is an obvious and direct answer.
God is good, all the time!
The question was,"I want to change EVERYTHING ABOUT ME! Where the fuckity-all do I even START!?" The answer was an invitation to a class on Peruvian Shamanism. Now, The Secret says that when an opportunity arises, you have to grab it! and take it! The Universe does not like hesitation, right? So, what do I do? Hesitate! This class is expensive, and I am broke. Every penny I spend is money I have taken out of the mouths of my children, I think. Then I also think, it is okay to do something for yourself. It is okay to try something new and to dive into an interest. But then I am back to, well, what do you DO with THAT? Does it serve a purpose? Does it have a monetary value? A spiritual value? Or is it just mental masterbation because you are bored with your sad, sad little life?
The class doesn't start until february, so I've got lots of time to think. Plus, I've got christmas and my birthday in there, so I have time to save up the money. And time to change my mind several times.
I consulted my advisors-
My husband..."I can't advise you on this. This is one you have to work out from your gut. Of course, I will support you either way."
My coworker..."That is really cool, but that is tooooooooo much money. You can learn that stuff on your own."
My mom..."Hahaha! Wait, are you serious? Well, you could go to ONE, and then see if you think it is valueable to keep going..."
I'm looking for a new house, but I am not moving anywhere that is not COMPLETELY awesome.
Me-would you be mad if we didn't move right now?
Younger-I want to move before winter!
Me-The experts say it is not good to move children all the time.
Older-The experts are totally ridiculous! I want an adventure. Adventure is GOOD for children! We are an adventure family. We have been in this house too long.
Younger- We've moved a bazillion times and we like it! That's for only when you change schools and you lose all of your friends and stuff. We can stay in the same school. We vote MOVE!
In other news, I haven't been to a doctor, but I think I am severly anemic. After some research, I have discovered that I hate all iron rich foods and survive solely on foods that block iron from being absorbed by the body. I have been anemic before, so I am aware of what it feels like. It feels like the morning after a sleepover where you had a great time, got no sleep and ate cake and pizza and soda and then had to wake up early the next day...times twenty.
So, one thing that is rich in iron is something called BLACK STRAP MOLASSES. Does anyone know what to do with this stuff??? I've got a bottle of it. Now what?
love and light,