Day 2 on drugs
I do NOT feel depressed. I feel pretty sharp. I can think clearly. I haven't cried. I do not feel tired. I don't feel that paralyzing heaviness that has kept me from functioning. Last night, I went on a date with my husband, and I dropped by my inlaws, and I picked up the cookies and the girls from girl scouts, and wrote in my blog. It was a sparkley, A + day. The fact that I could feel creative enought to write at all is a bonus, because even that has been a challenge in recent months.
I tried to go to sleep after my full and productive day, and whizzzzzzz bang! INSOMNIA ALL NIGHT LONG. When I got to doze, I woke up again. I was chatting away happily with my husband at 4 am. Me? ME? I could sleep through a head-on collision with a Mack truck full of pigs. INSOMNIA?! Frickin' awesome! What will I do with the extra hours in my day?! I hope not clean house. I'm pretty stoked about insomnia, just for a pleasant change of pace. Insomnia? Really??? Like Pavarotti putting out a death metal album, this is just plain out of character.
Then there is the bouncy leg. I've got a very bouncy leg. I guess you could say I'm jittery, but it is manageable. If the options are CHOOSE ONE:
A) soul splintering and paralyzing depression where even tying you shoes seems like a cruel punishment from a cruel world
B) insomnia and a bouncy leg
ya gotta go with b, right?
Tonight the girls played every single song by Taylor Swift on YouTube, and sang along with every single word. It was precious.
The sore throat is NOT better. I went to work just out of habit, and then bitched and moaned all day long about my pains and my suffering. When my voice got too croaky and painful, I wrote post it notes about my pains and my suffering, but I REFUSED TO GO HOME. My supervisors took pity on me and just let me wander around aimlessly for a while. See, corporate america ain't all bad.
(My leg? It is bouncing RIGHT NOW. But I'm not depressed about it.)
No, now you mention it I don't have your number. Can you email it to me? Don't panic, dear one. Having recurring blips of this shite is part of who we are (well, you, me and countless others, maybe not everyone) and it will pass. Horrid while it's here, but IT WILL PASS. Take very great care of your very own self, like you would a dear friend who was going through this. Look after my dear Mountain for me, because I love her, 'kay? And email your number. xxx Anna xxx
ReplyDeleteDon't like that bouncing leg -- might be a sign of over medication.
ReplyDeleteWondering if the meds are just a little too much for your system. Perhaps you should ask the doctor if you can take half the dose or take it every other day to see if you can sleep. You are not depressed about it but it could cause some trouble later on.
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