Sprinkle Your Own Pixie Dust

I have adhd today. I keep starting one thing and leaving to do another. I think I am overwhelmed from yesterday. Yesterday was our BIG TRIP to The American Girl Store in NYC. The day was so perfect and beautiful and dream-come-truish that I could cry just thinking about it. Sometimes, something clicks, and everything goes right.

Sometimes I feel like a squash ball being raquetted against a wall repeatedly at high speed. Sometimes I feel like the bottom rock of a mossy grass wall, just holding it up and that's pretty much it. I designed yesterday to be a fairytale-come-true for my daughters AND for myself, and the day unfolded like a lotus flower until I could nearly pass out from the strength of my spiritual gratitude. I know, that sounds dramatic, but if you read some entries from back in March, you could see that I really REALLY needed a Good Day. I was in Good Day starvation.

I've turned a corner. I'm not going to be a squash ball or a rock holding up weight. I think I am going to develop my inner fabulousness. People don't wake up fabulous. You have to craft it, create it, design it. You can wear a sundress instead of sweats. You can take time to make your food lovely on your plate instead of just shoving it down you gullet. You can be the Queen of your own very small, imaginary country. You can add a little sparkle to what you do daily. As far as I understand, no one will do it for you. If you want your life to glitter, it will only come to be if you sprinkle your own pixie dust.

This does not mean that I will turn vain and vapid, only caring about my hair and nails. This does not mean that I feel like a crash diet will solve all of my problems. I want to enjoy life, and it really came to me while holding my little girls' hands in the Big Apple, walking down Fifth Avenue, each one of us in brand new outfits. I don't know if I am expressing myself properly. It's all kind of pretzelled in my brain right now. Sometimes the good things occur because you planted them there. You grew them. You nurtured them. You harvested them.

I researched the trip. I budgetted for the trip. I saved the money for the trip. I planned the trip. I organized the trip. I lead the trip. I was fabulous. I enjoyed the trip.

Creating something beautiful in my mind actually came about in reality to be wonderful and beautiful. THANKYOU UNIVERSE!!!!! It is highly unlikely that I will have the energy to create another one like that any time soon, and that is not really what I learned. What I learned is that I DO have the energy to add a LITTLE bit of that extra pizzazz into my daily routine. Tea in a lovely mug. Beautiful music for the morning routine. Stopping a moment to enjoy the songbirds. Wearing the jewelry that I have stuff in a box.

Don't know. Still thinking about it, but I have to run off for dinner at my inlaws. Happy Mother's Day!

Love and light,
your friend,
Mountain