My period has been late exactly three times in the past 19 years. Elder Daughter, Younger Daughter, and now. I thought I was due on the 19th, but I forgot that Feb was a short month. Then I thought I was due on the 22. Didn't come. So then I bought a first response pregnancy test. NEGATIVE. Ok, cool. I can wait.
25th passes. Now I am starting to sweat.
26th I must be pregnant, right? I take another pregnancy test. NEGATIVE. I shake it and look at the thing. Where did my period go? It's not something that you can just loose, like keys, is it?
28th passes. I wonder if I have a disease. I call my mother and tell her I'm dying from no period and that I'm sorry I wasn't a better daughter.
29th passes. My brow is furrowed all day long.
30th, the full moon arrives, and with it, long awaited AUNT FLO. I feel the need to announce this loudly in the bathroom at work, just like a two year old going potty in public for the first time. It was a triumphant moment. My coworkers, both men, want to know what I'm beaming about all of a sudden. We have a celebratory Mountain Is Not Pregnant coffee toast..."Salud!" "L'Chaim!" Yes, seriously.
So, we are fine. I had pneumonia, people, and I suppose that is enough to royally knock me off of my internal clock. All these people said,"you don't seem that sick", and now I know I was really sick because MY PERIOD WAS LATE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!!!!!! I must have been on the brink of death. My body literally didn't even know what day it was.
So, this is the great thing for which I am very grateful. Right now, I would love to be pregnant, and I would also be just as happy NOT to be pregnant. No harm, no foul. The agony was in the not knowing. Yes, I did actually refer to myself as The Barren Queen in conversation, that was like, only once.
love and light,