Live From Panera!!!!!

I'm sitting in Panera with all the pastry eating people in Allentown. I have to steal my internet connection right now because many things are shut off at home. I am a poor provider, and I have many people in my family who would help me, but my tax return is expected in a few days so I figured I'd spare myself the humiliation and just hold on tight for the big check.

Many good things happened yesterday. My husband quit the paper route and I am doing booty shaking dances in the driveway because I am SOOOOOOOO HAPPY!!!!! I want my man in bed at night with me, and the money that he earned did not begin to cover the tumult that the job caused. Honestly, trying to do the papers almost killed the guy. He is sick. He is miserable. He is tired all the time. Chrismas and Easter were Husband-less. It just sucked so bad. I would rather have the whole family living in the car than have him be like that. I'm glad he came to this decision. They were going to stop paying extra for sundays, and cut his route by 35 papers,because of some sort of corporate reorganization. The decision was easy to make.

His family is not happy. They see this as him throwing a perfectly good job away, and to this I say,"BWAHAHAHAH!" They have no idea. You know that cottonpicking gig you had in Alabama? The one with the overseer who whipped you from the back of a horse? Why did you throw that perfectly good job away?! Ha!

I went to sleep with my husband in bed with me, and I woke up and he was still there. That has only ever happened while we were on our honeymoon. I could explode in the decadence of it. I watched his chest rise and fall in rhythmic breath, and I felt like maybe this all might work out. I don't have any idea how, but now I have hope. Hope had been missing all winter.

Yesterday I rose early with the girls and went to the school to do volunteer at the work day. I love their school so much. They have a new sign made out of a gigantic gear mold that was abandoned in the building that now houses the school. It looks great. The teacher had a Gnarls Barkley CD in her cd player, and I cranked that. Perfect cleaning music! I swept the classrooms, and I wiped the board. I scrubbed marker off of the tables, and I straightened all the chairs. The little one's teacher has a mirror with affirmations taped to it..."I am kind." "I am a good friend." You could cry from the sweetness of it. My older daughter has newspapers taped up all over the walls at quite odd angles. When I asked her about it, she said testing is coming up next week and the teacher covered up all the charts on the walls with newspaper to hide the answers.

The kids came with me, and wander freely to whatever project they can find in progress. Sometimes they sweep. Sometimes they wander up and down the halls with friends. Sometimes they help other adults. My elder daughter found a pile of rocks and plywood behind the school, and she and some boys had built a clubhouse and were looking for coal in the rocks to collect to heat their imaginary home. I can't imagine another school where the kids are encouraged to play with rocks and plywood, but I think it is just as healthy as a plastic playset from walmart.

I feel so good about contributing what small amount I can to that school. When I think that things are really horrible, I remember that I helped, in a small way, it create it, and what a positive influence it is in the lives of my children.

Work has gotten much better, too. I knew in my heart of hearts if I could just hold out til spring, things would get better. I have been given the opportunity to occasionally sit at the front desk as a receptionist, which is pleasantly dull. I am working on projects for the "fun committee" and also have been working on some sustainability and corporate social responsibility stuff. The monotony and negativity has shifted a bit, and every time there is a chance for creativity they seem to be giving me a shot at it. Not that there is A LOT of opportunity for creativity, but what there is, they are throwing to me. So, yay. Grateful for that. I got a six cent raise. You know they love you when they give you six cents. My father told me that was $120 a year, enough to buy a truck battery. So, there is that.

I also have been using my various health insurances, including dental. I have to have TWO wisdom teeth out. I think maybe when they are out, all of my sinus/ear/throat troubles may be improved. After insurance, it will cost me about $120, so maybe I can use my six cent raise for THAT. Oh, see how it all works out, Polly Anna?

It smells like burned bagels in here.